Monday, December 30, 2013


I want the blood to pump in my ears. 
My heart to jump out of my skin 
First thing every morning 
My feet to tap tap tap 
Till all my shoes wear out 
The rich brown wooden floor to welcome me 
On my 70th push up
Want the wind to push me back when I sprint uphill 
Feel my stomach growl with hunger 
Double up in excitement 
Do a somersault for no reason 
Feel my skin tingle in the warmth of the sun
I want to drown in beauty and wonder and awe 
Every second of every day 
Feel the animal in me arise 
Every moment that I am alive

Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Alien Inside

The alien inside 

What is this madness 
This malady that makes you push the thorn in deeper 
To touch the unknown, to wring dry the pain 
To delve into a sea where you've already drowned 
Once? Twice? 
This hormonal rush that turns your mind to mush 
Your intelligence to freeze and your body into a raging furnace 
Making you run into the arms of a stranger 
Who can show no kindness 
Whose arms are busy hugging himself 
This fever seeking salvation but not to subside 
These waves of longing washing over good sense 
Of angst and anxiety and excitement 
Threatening to suck you into an eddy 
Of certain discontent 
This lack of empathy for oneself 
This need to run to the edge of the cliff 
When you know home is 10 steps the other way 
To self-destruct after spending years 
Reclaiming your soul piece by piece 
To be a lawyer by day, spewing logic 
And moonlight as a lunatic in a solo asylum 
To fritter away your self esteem 
Like ashes in the sea 
From an urn that took a lifetime to build 
To seek, to seek forever outside 
When the knowledge inside lays cold to reason 
To ask for the wrong thing 
At precisely the wrong time 
To bring back the agony long forgotten. 
This fear of the unknown lies defeated 
By the foolish hope of feeling alive 
The chance at another life, taking another turn 
Where your dreams appear lucid and realities blur.